9:15pm
{It} is reoccurring… by ‘it’, I mean, those ‘concerns’ and all that ‘inquisitiveness’ about the ‘young lady’. *Her name here*… the urge to contact her was a knock on the door… it wasn’t a ‘door kicked-in’… just a ‘harmless’ beckoning… but, sure as it is night outside right now, if she really wanted to know how I was or what was going on, I do believe she could easily contact my parents, or brothers… so, ‘yes’ I am compiling reasons that will completely rule out contact between her and myself… One reason being, God’s will for my life, I am 98-99% sure that I am supposed to be here… in all matters, outside of denouncing Christ, I believe God’s will is that I am compliant, double-mindedness does not support this journey… it will further deter/prolong/ hurt relations between myself and the Gospel. God will not find me fit for the kingdom, in my ‘looking back’. She does not need me! She needs God… and I recognize that God is in control… and I trust you God… I commit her and her son to your hands.
The First of Many Firsts 