From the ‘jump-stiggity-‘, I was saying it… all this ‘right here’ is not for ‘no reason’ at all… small time- short time… we (me, myself, and I) will be making a break for it… it’s coming up on the time to fly… got news yesterday that the teacher for our Tech classes is doing everything he can to wrap our classes up by September 13th, which, in turn, will get the ball-rolling on beginning my career with one of these electrical contractors… shooting for ‘Dub-Squared’ (self-created alis for company.)
So, very, very, excited that everything is about to ‘pay-off’ and this little current is about to flow into a greater one… I’m not scared- I’m not in a hurry… I am excited and dialing everything in- with the assistance of the Holy Ghost… straight-up!!! I don’t know what’s coming, but I’m more than excited bout’ it- bout’ it!!
Thank You Jesus for paying the price for this new life. Never let this fire of desire- die or subside! Let my cry be heavy, Father… and reach many… Help me follow You… and walk this thang’ out… Let Your will be done Jesus… strengthen my hands- strengthen my knees.
Home from a delightfully relaxing day… I mean, we accomplished a few things onsite (where the houses are located that we’ve been working on). Crews were split…. a handful of guys went to the location of our new property, where renovations need to be made, floors need some work, walls, rooms need gutting,e tc. And a few guys worked to install some windows that recently arrived to the designated home… (the old ones were stolen before they could be installed.)
After lunch, we had class to attend… as monotonous, repetitive, and dull as it seems (sometimes)… the class is necessary, informative, and a major blessing… a major opportunity and integral component in the design of where God is directing my feet.
Lord, You’ve been ever-good to Your children… Father, thank You for the dependence You are storing up in me that I need You always… that I would not neglect the gift inside of me…. Thank You for stirring my heart with passion toward the kingdom and helping me to remain driven, creating, and shaping me into a man after You, passionate for You. Use me, Father… through every imperfection… may nothing go to waste.
It’s that time again, made it through another day.. It’s been a good day. Mom and two of my brothers made a stop by the jobsite and showed us the fish they caught last night. The fish were massive… 10plus lbs., for sure. My brother (brother’s name here) birthday was today and it was good to see him… I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten him a gift or anything, but God seen fit to bless me with the ‘ends’ to share with my brother, today… that’s been a big deal for me… I want to be a brother to my brother, and I know money is not the measure of our hearts per say, but I was grateful for the opportunity.
Evaluations were also today… for the most part… so much grace has been extended to me… I mean, as skeptical and critical as I am of myself, my instructor’s constructive criticism is much less harsh than the voice of condemnation that springs up from my own flawed thinking.
Father, weigh my heart, try my ways, and remove every ill-thing, be it favored in my eyes or not.. remove it far from me.
Good morning life and wisdom and knowledge and blessing. Feeling good bout’ the decision to stay home and reflect… woke up bout’ 5:30am for group (F3) and we had a super-chill morning. There ‘s something about waking up early to meet the sunrise. Literally starting the day off on the right foot…. the less trodden path… (majority of people are not dying to wake up and exercise…) I’m glad to have been scooped up by these guys (F3)… they are good support…
Haven’t made plans for the rest of the day… prolly’ spend most of it round’ the house… I have never had trouble keeping myself occupied… that’s one of the perks of having floundered into so many backgrounds, cliques, and social groups… I’ve picked up many hobbies and interests… many mediums by which to channel and express ‘what’s inside’… (Hobbies are great… but not without respect to priorities…)
One of my main objectives today will include personal time with the Lord and ‘keeping my hand back off the stove’… (temptation)… cultivating the trust of God in me… I know He is taking care of me and my relationships, and still… I know what’s best…(picture that lol…<sarcasm> knowing what’s best for yourself… 🙂 ) That’s the vicious cycle… and yet, it doesn’t have to be… I have to stop giving the enemy space to tell me I don’t know God’s will… God’s will is that I prosper… and continue on the path that He has set before me.
Restore my desire Father… help me stand… endure… keep going… embracing the truth and peace.
Fresh notebook status… (2nd page of new notebook)–Rarely do I write on the first page… (I’ve grown accustomed to that first page, of any notebook… getting mysteriously ripped out. )
In my bedroom sitting on a ‘foot x foot’ box/crate that I made at work… (reminds me of Donkey Kong…ha!)
Woke up this morning about 6:47am… also with the intentions to fast… being that I’ve felt so led… because I’m tired of some of those struggles I’ve been trying to thwart, single-handedly, those fleshly desires, that arise more, now… than they have in a while… not as a direct result of anything I’ve done, but in some cases, I did not help either…
Nonetheless, from square one, out the bed I got up later than I had been determined I would, last night… After heading to kitchen, it seemed, instance after instance, that the day was just going to go left… as the day continued I prayed, worked, and ‘got low’, meditating on the desire of being on with the Lord… (as Jesus prayed, John 17)… and maturing inf aith, hope, and charity… I’m not sure of every aspect of where I am being led… actually I know very little… but I believe that where I am being led calls for another kind of yielding to the Holy Spirit… Throughout the day, there have been minor urges to go eat, bu that is redirected to what/why I have made this commitment today… the desire of a more intimate relationship with God… and victory in various areas of my life where I am not doing great… where I am struggling.
God has strongly impressed on me that some of the disconnect has not come solely out of things that I am not doing… but in those things that I am… by trying to force growth… I can promote and encourage growth but it is the Holy Spirit who makes things known to us… and helps us to apply that knowledge in a practical way that begets growth in the lives of others. The rest of the evening… I will mostly be reading, and meditating… most likely not a whole lot of venturing all over the house… this time is precious to me… I’ve gotta’ make a run with some of the guys to wal-mart, but when I come back, I’ll be back in my room seeking direction. Thank You Father, for liberty, and family, Your grace, and mercy.
Got through the day, Father, relatively ‘laxed’ day… Did some painting, got a review on my work ethic, leadership/communication skills. That was a blessing… I was really looking for the instructors to tear into me, (ruffle my feathers) but they were very supportive of the progress being made ‘here’… also, they let me know how they want to work with me and want me to not take on every responsibility, or feeling that I need to… they told me that they are resources I should utilize… Also discussed my status concerning some of my relationships with the guys… ‘my footing’… I guess, that’s a good way of putting it… I told them how I walked in on my younger brother this weekend fooling on a vaporizer and how God, in those moments, calmed me… and I chose the road of remaining available to my bro and not ‘losing it’ cause that woulda’ took the focus off my dad’s dinner, this past weekend. I also told my instructors that the ‘M.O.’ is to stand, fortify, stand, be fortified, and Stand… Unless God says, ‘for sure’, ‘through and through’, Do This…. then….. Yours truly stays put… remain vigilant, stand, endure, fortify, repeat…
Thank You Jesus!!! For making me usable and effective concerning the establishing of Your kingdom on earth.
Spent a beautiful day at the shop constructing ‘headers’ for the houses that will commence construction in May. We got a new recruit yesterday–> one who’s intake/acceptance was maybe controversial to some, and surprise to say the least… but, is a testament to the belief ‘what door God opens, no man can shut.’ I’ve come to terms with that, and it’s a blessing to have gained the maturity to have an appreciation in God’s working in other’s lives. I’ve very little history with this man…<service is beginning now!>
Service is over, service was great. We did not have our usual speaker (Pastor) today, but another man… I’d forgotten all about the revival services to take place next week… starting this sunday… our speaker tonight spoke to us regarding preparation of our hearts for revival… repentance, and new life in the church. As well as why the church needs revival for new relationships, new business, new life, increase in love expressed…
I’m not sure what to expect at our revival meeting, but I will be praying for repentance in my heart, and a heart broken for Christ that will receive His Spirit in a new way… Thank You Father for timing and direction, bringing to surface any hindrances and walking me through the ‘letting go’, so that the way may be fruitful, and I am an effective/active member of the church.