September 26, 2017

5:15am

Thank You, father, for the expectation You’ve instilled inside of me, for Your presence in my life today… thank You for leading me in the way of truth.

Proverbs 26:11- As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Proverbs 26:17- He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.

Psalms 26:12- My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.

Psalms 26:5- I have hated the congregation of evil doers; and will not sit with the wicked.

Psalms 26:7- That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.

7:13ish p.m.

Thank You Father for another day home safe… Still working on evening routine… there is usually a few things I like to do when coming home, but it’ll sort itself out over the next few days… my biggest priority throughout the transition has been to remember God in all of it… and be in bed on time… Lights out 9pm… seriously… unless we are praying I am not trying to be wandering around the house after 9pm… Thank You Lord for Your plans, mercy, grace… and my first check from my new employers… Helping me go to sleep and wake up on time… and be a leader… living my life purposefully.

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September 25, 2017

5:19am

Thank You Father for waking me this morning- filling my lungs with the breathe of life, providing me with the will and desire to face the day.

-Proverbs 25:28

He that hath no rule over his own spirit, is like a city that is broken down and without walls.

-Psalms 25:14

The secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him; and He will shew them His covenant.

-Psalms 25:4

Shew me thy ways, O Lord, teach me thy paths.

-Psalms 25:10-11

All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep His covenant and His testimonies. For thy name’s sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.

8:51pm

Unlike the rest of my stay, here at the Gideon House, my morning schedule is shaping up more and more… but my evening schedule is going to need some serious work… Thank You Lord for deliverance from confusion and thank You for stability.

August 24, 2017

4:37pm

From the ‘jump-stiggity-‘, I was saying it… all this ‘right here’ is not for ‘no reason’ at all… small time- short time… we (me, myself, and I) will be making a break for it… it’s coming up on the time to fly… got news yesterday that the teacher for our Tech classes is doing everything he can to wrap our classes up by September 13th, which, in turn, will get the ball-rolling on beginning my career with one of these electrical contractors… shooting for ‘Dub-Squared’ (self-created alis for company.)

So, very, very, excited that everything is about to ‘pay-off’ and this little current is about to flow into a greater one… I’m not scared- I’m not in a hurry… I am excited and dialing everything in- with the assistance of the Holy Ghost… straight-up!!! I don’t know what’s coming, but I’m more than excited bout’ it- bout’ it!!

Thank You Jesus for paying the price for this new life. Never let this fire of desire- die or subside! Let my cry be heavy, Father… and reach many… Help me follow You… and walk this thang’ out… Let Your will be done Jesus… strengthen my hands- strengthen my knees.

August 16, 2017

4:04pm

Home from a delightfully relaxing day… I mean, we accomplished a few things onsite (where the houses are located that we’ve been working on). Crews were split…. a handful of guys went to the location of our new property, where renovations need to be made, floors need some work, walls, rooms need gutting,e tc. And a few guys worked to install some windows that recently arrived to the designated home… (the old ones were stolen before they could be installed.)

After lunch, we had class to attend… as monotonous, repetitive, and dull as it seems (sometimes)… the class is necessary, informative, and a major blessing… a major opportunity and integral component in the design of where God is directing my feet.

Lord, You’ve been ever-good to Your children… Father, thank You for the dependence You are storing up in me that I need You always… that I would not neglect the gift inside of me…. Thank You for stirring my heart with passion toward the kingdom and helping me to remain driven, creating, and shaping me into a man after You, passionate for You.  Use me, Father… through every imperfection… may nothing go to waste.

 

August 3, 2017

10:45pm

     It’s that time again, made it through another day.. It’s been a good day. Mom and two of my brothers made a stop by the jobsite and showed us the fish they caught last night. The fish were massive… 10plus lbs., for sure. My brother (brother’s name here) birthday was today and it was good to see him… I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten him a gift or anything, but God seen fit to bless me with the ‘ends’ to share with my brother, today… that’s been a big deal for me… I want to be a brother to my brother, and I know money is not the measure of our hearts per say, but I was grateful for the opportunity.

Evaluations were also today… for the most part… so much grace has been extended to me… I mean, as skeptical and critical as I am of myself, my instructor’s constructive criticism is much less harsh than the voice of condemnation that springs up from my own flawed thinking.

Father, weigh my heart, try my ways, and remove every ill-thing, be it favored in my eyes or not.. remove it far from me.

June 3, 2017

7:36am

Good morning life and wisdom and knowledge and blessing. Feeling good bout’ the decision to stay home and reflect… woke up bout’ 5:30am for group (F3) and we had a super-chill morning. There ‘s something about waking up early to meet the sunrise. Literally starting the day off on the right foot…. the less trodden path… (majority of people are not dying to wake up and exercise…) I’m glad to have been scooped up by these guys (F3)… they are good support…

Haven’t made plans for the rest of the day… prolly’ spend most of it round’ the house… I have never had trouble keeping myself occupied… that’s one of the perks of having floundered into so many backgrounds, cliques, and social groups… I’ve picked up many hobbies and interests… many mediums by which to channel and express ‘what’s inside’… (Hobbies are great… but not without respect to priorities…)

One of my main objectives today will include personal time with the Lord and ‘keeping my hand back off the stove’… (temptation)… cultivating the trust of God in me… I know He is taking care of me and my relationships, and still… I know what’s best…(picture that lol…<sarcasm> knowing what’s best for yourself…   🙂 ) That’s the vicious cycle… and yet, it doesn’t have to be… I have to stop giving the enemy space to tell me I don’t know God’s will… God’s will is that I prosper… and continue on the path that He has set before me.

Restore my desire Father… help me stand… endure… keep going… embracing the truth and peace.

 

 

May 22, 2017

4:05pm

Fresh notebook status… (2nd page of new notebook)–Rarely do I write on the first page… (I’ve grown accustomed to that first page, of any notebook… getting mysteriously ripped out. :/ )

In my bedroom sitting on a ‘foot x foot’ box/crate that I made at work… (reminds me of Donkey Kong…ha!)

Woke up this morning about 6:47am… also with the intentions to fast… being that I’ve felt so led… because I’m tired of some of those struggles I’ve been trying to thwart, single-handedly, those fleshly desires, that arise more, now… than they have in a while… not as a direct result of anything I’ve done, but in some cases, I did not help either…

Nonetheless, from square one, out the bed I got up later than I had been determined I would, last night… After heading to kitchen, it seemed, instance after instance, that the day was just going to go left… as the day continued I prayed, worked, and ‘got low’, meditating on the desire of being on with the Lord… (as Jesus prayed, John 17)… and maturing inf aith, hope, and charity… I’m not sure of every aspect of where I am being led… actually I know very little… but I believe that where I am being led calls for another kind of yielding to the Holy Spirit… Throughout the day, there have been minor urges to go eat, bu that is redirected to what/why I have made this commitment today… the desire of a more intimate relationship with God… and victory in various areas of my life where I am not doing great… where I am struggling.

God has strongly impressed on me that some of the disconnect has not come solely out of things that I am not doing… but in those things that I am… by trying to force growth… I can promote and encourage growth but it is the Holy Spirit who makes things known to us… and helps us to apply that knowledge in a practical way that begets growth in the lives of others. The rest of the evening… I will mostly be reading, and meditating… most likely not a whole lot of venturing all over the house… this time is precious to me… I’ve gotta’ make a run with some of the guys to wal-mart, but when I come back, I’ll be back in my room seeking direction. Thank You Father, for liberty, and family, Your grace, and mercy.