The sun is high, there’s plenty clouds scattered across the sky.. but no competition for the skies vastness… the occasional shade is cast, but it is extremely nice… and everyone is getting a little tan…
One of our guys made decision, a few weeks back, to get baptized. Today, was the big day… after church we all (guys from house) joined his family at his parent’s house to have lunch. When lunch was over we sat n’ chat for a bit on each of our successes/testimonies and how good God has been to us. After getting full and meeting bros siblings, we determined ourselves to hit the neighborhood pool…, there are a few kids, but the pool is far from overcrowded. Everyone is actually having a good time…I’ve been in pool a few times, but -broke out- to have a read in my assigned book (The Utter Relief of Holiness), I’ve been a lil’ bit behind, then I settled upon writing… the rest of the night should be more than laxed’… I think we will all be here till’ close to 5/6pm. In which case we will not be going to OC tonight… I aim to promote much renewal for myself as possible before jumping back into this week. Thank You Lord for liberty and time to get renewed… thank You for strengthening our hands..
Jesus, I need You… and I have You and I’m not alone… but this whole keeping inline and getting the butt-end of the stick from superiors…or third-degree- or whatever you wanna call it… (wuwci)…and being expected to hold others accountable… and relay the rules, and all that ‘jazz’… This contracting, and stretching, and pulling… and to do it all… Lord Jesus… I want the growth -sometimes- but without the painkillers, it’s crucial… but, it’s for my good… understanding is present- and it is becoming that much more evident everyday that I’m being led back and forth to that hopelessness… and the enemy says ‘throw in the towel’, ‘situation is hopeless!’ ‘Go ahead and flip your wig, and blow up everything and all things…’ ‘That’s where your power is… in wrath and anger and fury’… Nah, devil I’m tired of your lies… God allows me to trek through and to the hopelessness to embrace His glory and my life in Him… apart from God, I can do nothing… thank YOu Jesus for Your grace and mercy… I cannot do this without You… help me to put the weight aside and trust Your will…holding on to Your name and praising You for Your namesake… Praise the Father of Lights.
Almost skipped out on entry for the day… I’m listening to 1 Peter 5 on repeat… Listening to the word before ‘knocking out’ is bout’ the most calming-relaxing thing I can do to help me rest… I’ve spent the last hour working on a rendition of ‘Precious Lord’, it’s pretty much the only song I can play, all the way through, from beginning to end. (guitar)
Today went well and everyone made it home safe… Two of the guys who live with me agreed to ride with me to church tonight… that was a blessing and always is… usually is…
The guys in the house are adjusting (including myself) to the loss we had of two of our guys… there’s room, now, for two other individuals, and they will be here soon enough… We will all begin our classes at Greenville Tech, here, shortly also… I’ve taken some classes before but this is different… I’m taking this journey with some degree/smidgen of clarity… I used to hop on the bus (city bus) and head to class having already had 3 beers with 3 more in my bag… excited to be in school, but half unable to cope with my existence, and half corrupted with the screwed up presumptions of what college is/is not… Ridiculoso!!!
Thank You Jesus for renewal, for rest, for Love, for trust, the hope we have in You above all else… thank You for quickening Your children.
-Volunteer Activity this weekend.
Book: (Brainstorm) Professional Servant/Professional Laborer
-Pleasure is something totally different altogether than what it has perverted itself to being in my mind. God is the origin of true pleasures…and in order to receive that, I must acknowledge there is something seriously wrong with my pleasure gauge…. not that I’ve been a ‘freak on a leash’… God has granted me a degree of victory that trumps my desire to be immoral verbally, sexually, etc. I mean, wisdom and knowledge is pleasing and sweeter than it has ever been… yea, that may sound lame but it’s true, and I’m far from ashamed about that… but God is also revealing to me by Spirit that that’s far from ALL He was talking about, and if I will surrender that part of my mind that ‘trapdoors’ all that ‘icky-decrepit’ crap I’ve locked up over the years… that He will show me how to, and what we can do about those things; and not only will He remove each of those cancers, but He will replace that space with ‘LIFE’… a life-giving pleasure, rooted in praise and worship unlike I have ever known.
Funny thing about sin is…
ya’ think you know what it’s gonna cost…
Home from ‘fishing’… exhaustion is not the word for how I’m feeling… everyone is ‘tore up’ in one way or another… it was a good outing… and it was a blessing to go out and spend the time outdoors… we were out the house by 7am, on the river by 7:30am and did not get home until 3:45pm… we had time to chill, talk, reel some fish in (I didn’t catch one today)… and enjoy life… without the stress of our everyday lives… back home now… waiting on a free shower… I’ll have to figure out what I’m gonna cook at some point… Aside from those usual ‘speed bumps’ that come with ‘fishing-trips’ –>the day ran smooth. If I don’t end up *crashing* into my pillow once I’m at the top of the stairs I may spend the remainder of the evening working on the latest book the director hooked me up with… it’s named, the Bait of Satan… incredibly appropriate considering we’ve been fishing all-day.
Some people want to be great men working for great businesses… not me. My desire is not so much that money, but I continually find myself fantasizing about a desk. A desk that is not too small or too large… space that will allow me to hold every project I am working on… organized and compartmentalized. Just the thought of having that work-station..*dreaming*…. and writing and seeking God and having that station as an outlet, is something to think about….hmm.
Don’t like starting sentences with ‘I’… courtesy of an English teacher I had in…middle school? My sentences usually end up, ‘running-oooon’… like the [insert proper metaphor here.] and using way too many comas… by now, these grammatical ‘hiccups’ have to be more than apparent. This matters to me because each and every time it happens, I am reminded that I lack the knowledge of certain rules that appropriate the errors. I compensate for the errors, usually, by changing phrases here and there… cutting out and tradin words to shorten sentences… when, of course, I am not being lazy…
Going back to work tomorrow, so it’s best I get some rest… I still have to read a chapter @ least (Bible). Read a chapter from the book I have been reading . (Act Like Men), and write a note… piect-to- a letter that may never be mailed, but has been somewhat therapeutic to develop.