July 24, 2017

Sidenotes:

Struggl’in with the same sins

like, hand back in the garbage can

reaching for a vine when I’m in the quicksand

but when I’m walk’in on da’ beach

I’m all bout’ mak’in up my own plans

energy depletin

losing my desire

for my life at all

cuz I got leaches tached’ to every vital organ

heart numb to instruction

property of the darkness governing

the air of the world the inhabitants

till’ Christ cracked the ‘ammonia’

under my nose

no longer froze in sin grip constrict’in

clarity com’in

the focus ensuing

the gospel renew’in

the path that’s been proven

the perfect lamb- walk’in- talk’in- and breath’in

beat’in down-

incarcerated- ridiculed

literally hated

for crimes not committed.

6:40a.m.

This morning, among other things, there are two things on my heart… the one is ‘It’s not all about me’… (though, I regularly fall into this delusion.) The second thought is ‘cancer’ is not not not winning! I wanted to shout this, during my morning (group) exercise… the guys in my group (don’t live with me) they had long faces and I felt sorrow over those who have passed, and are being hospitalized… chemos, dialysis, etc… and the familiar cloud, that I’m also ‘picking up on at my church; a cloud of sickness that comes with a sense of woe and seems like a submission of defeat, not a submission of a trust that brings life or joy… and Spirit inside me was saying, firmly, Chris is our King, our victory is Him, and cancer is not winning. Thank You Father, for promoting spiritually healthy thoughts, nourishing our spirits, and delivering us from hurt; within… we will be afflicted… but, it is ‘light’ it is temporal… help us not to question God in doubt… we will suffer persecutions, but it is working for us. Thank You Lord for taking thought of Your sins and daughters.

Closer to 9pm than 9:20pm:

We had a full day… wake up, F3, oil change, home, class, golf course (I’ve never been/ outside of times where I performed maintenance for the courses. Didn’t play today, I’m saving (can not afford golf to play golf, right now. But it was a good time nonetheless.)

We got home around 8pm, but I am worn ‘slap-out’ so it’s ‘pillow time’ Thank You Jesus for Your graciousness, liberty, deliverance, and working in the heart of my friend… (He relapsed a few months back, Lord… and so many shunned him and looked down their noses) Thank You for restoring him Lord and driving him to call me…and keeping him from giving up in pursuing You and drawing those to him who can actually walk with him and draw him out of the ‘cycle’ he’s triggered… Thank You for helping us all, renewing us, and giving us some momentum, Lord, thank You, I love You.

 

 

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