May 10, 2017

Letter to Pastor

Dear (Pastor Name Here)

My heart was overjoyed this past Sunday to receive communion and have the privilege of hearing the sermon the Lord place on your heart… Many years have passed and I determined to learn many lessons the ‘long and hard way’… but I am delighted to share with you the gratitude I have for that work which God began in me at ECPHC… and is perfecting, today… Thank You so much for every prayer, and every thought you’ve had toward the repentance God has granted me… I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ… Thank You for every kindness that was shown to me, and every example of God’s love that was extended to me… I’m not sure what tomorrow may bring… but I am confident of the Holy Spirit’s working in my heart and I hope daily toward the revelation of Christ. I live in Greenville, SC and I have a very exciting future ahead of me…

ECPHC will always be my home church and thoughts of your well-being and encouragement are with me regardless of where I am, where I find myself, or who I encounter.

God bless you, the entire (Surname) family, and the body of believers.

Thanks again,

Kernel

Note::::Letter written to the church of my adolescence after visiting over a weekend.

May 9, 2017

9:01pm

Home from visiting a church to hear a brother’s testimony… ‘pushing’ to write, right now, needing to grab something to eat… don’t wanna sacrifice quality for convenience, but that’s the way the ‘leaf descends’… sometimes… Seems very mundane some days (writing), and that’s when I have opportunity to step back and check my status… motives, and ‘all that’… the motive is to practice discipline and self-control… to hone consistency while being vocal concerning the regeneration of life in me…

After confessing and repenting (turning from sins), believing Christ died for me… my life has become new… fully restored and better than…

Despite any rain that may ‘pitter-pat’ against the glass… Christ died for my sins (the atonement), I’ve accepted Him who has become the advocate for me with the Father (Creator of all things). He’s delivered me from alcohol/substance abuse and grant me liberty, through the life of His Son. In Him I’ve discovered purpose, in Him I’ve discovered truth… my testimony is true… I was as a dead man… today, I live and breathe for the hope of His return… He will not tarry… the kingdom of God is at hand…

Lord, if but one would receive the words of this testimony… and hear ‘the call’ of Your voice… I ask in the name of Your son, Yeshua (Jesus, King of Israel), that You would grant them repentance. If but one would receive You, Father, then this will not have been in vain.

Jesus, You are the true Vine…

the Way, Truth, and the Life…

He, who removes our sins as far as the east is from the west.

Thank You for that true light–

Which lighteth the world.

May 6, 2017

11:06pm

We’ve (family) sustained a steady rain for the past three hours… and we are all pretty whooped, now… but I’m not complaining… Dinner for Dad was awesome!!! Mom did one heck of a job getting everything prepared…

My brothers and I helped setup, and the youngest, and I cooked with my Dad’s mom (my Nana)… I cooked more chicken on the grill, today, than I’ve ever cooked at one time. Saw cousins today that I haven’t seen in years, literally… everyone who attended made a reflection or two in order to honor my dad. After opening the dinner with a prayer, and enjoying the powerpoint presentation mom created we fellowshipped with one another, exchanged numbers, ate cake, and food.

Today was one heck of a blessing… the best part was sharing some of what God’s done for me… with everyone in attendance… without restraint… I was a little nervous, but how could I allow the opportunity to slip past me… to be able to share my relationship with my family… Life gets better, Yo!!! Lay down your burdens… God sustains this family and everyone we meet… He is working in us… and I will keep Your word Lord… I will pursue righteousness… You know the hearts and needs of all the families we met today… thank You for keeping us, Father, receiving our praise, and hearing our prayers.

May 4, 2017

6:26pm

You’ve been good to me Father… You’ve been so good, Lord… and You’re faithful Lord Jesus… You take thought of me and I don’t deserve that… not in the slightest… You know better than any,  Father… how I can get in to a mode of striving to Do and Do and Do to be ‘my perception’ of who You are… is this not WORSE than unbelief… May it not be said of me that I seek to ‘create’ You in ‘my image’… open rebuke is better than secret love… and You chasten those whom You Love…

Thank You for Your mercy God… but thank You for Your plans and not my plans… “Tell me when to go!! Jesus!!” I would that I do nothing outside of what is before me without Your ‘perfect’ nudge. Thank You for continuing to draw me to trust those nudges… Without You I can do nothing, Father. You are the Vine… not ‘a’ vine… or option… You are the Vine… and when I work contrary to You Father… that’s a ‘hang-over’ far worse than anything associated with alcohol/drugs… that shame and guilt… Thank You for courage Lord, and Your light… in the dark places… Help me stay low Father… I need You more… in all things… thank You for helping me to surrender every part of my life… thank You for a safe journey home(to parent’s house) this weekend.

May 3, 2017

8:32am

-Volunteer Activity this weekend.

3:53pm

Book: (Brainstorm) Professional Servant/Professional Laborer

-Pleasure is something totally different altogether than what it has perverted itself to being in my mind. God is the origin of true pleasures…and in order to receive that, I must acknowledge there is something seriously wrong with my pleasure gauge…. not that I’ve been a ‘freak on a leash’… God has granted me a degree of victory that trumps my desire to be immoral verbally, sexually, etc. I mean, wisdom and knowledge is pleasing and sweeter than it has ever been… yea, that may sound lame but it’s true, and I’m far from ashamed about that… but God is also revealing to me by Spirit that that’s far from ALL He was talking about, and if I will surrender that part of my mind that ‘trapdoors’ all that ‘icky-decrepit’ crap I’ve locked up over the years… that He will show me how to, and what we can do about those things; and not only will He remove each of those cancers, but He will replace that space with ‘LIFE’… a life-giving pleasure, rooted in praise and worship unlike I have ever known.

10:59pm

Funny thing about sin is…

ya’ think you know what it’s gonna cost…

We don’t.

April 27, 2017

11:54am

Is what God says ‘good enough’???

Truly it is…but it wasn’t, this morning, in my little brain because though He did what He said He would do… I  had a very hard time waiting for some kind of justice to be dispensed, after noting this in my heart I began seeking peace… within… that I could have a merciful heart regarding the individual involved.

10:01pm

The afternoon was a little bit of a *brain cramp*… interpersonal b.s. … I have to, not, personalize the crap, but I don’t want to be callous either… God, thank You for grace… I need it… thank You for Your resolutions… thank You for helping me not to return to the vomit of violence. Your grace is sufficient… and to have come this far to implode due to rash decision-making… I’m sure the enemy would love that… Nah… Quitting is not in my design… nor in the handbook (Bible)… and I don’t care what anyone says, this stuff I’m facing, regarding *anything* in this house… is minuscule in comparison to much of the travesty being experienced *RIGHT NOW*… Who wants to contribute to the chaos??? I shall stand on the Rock of my Salvation. Christ is King!!! Yesterday – Today- and Forever!

April 21, 2017

8:09pm

     Tonight, it is I and the newest additions to the house… we are watching movies, eating burritos…Taking in the sights and sounds of the resources God has afforded us. This ain’t about us… Christ died, that we would be saved, at the instruction of the Father… the message doesn’t change… I owe You everything Father.

9:52pm

     Grace, mercy, hope, endure, joy, faith everlasting… Have mercy on us Father… keep us Father… we get distracted… I get distracted… but You love us Lord… I would not that I should be so easily deceived… mistakes are part of the journey Father, but thank You for keeping and guarding me from willful sin… I hate it, Lord.

     Remind me, in my stumbling, of my first love… drawing me out of disaster and destruction that I may keep the faith. Thank You Lord for covering my family, my brothers that live here, and leading me in life from vanity, the pride of life slothfulness…etc… helping me to abstain from all appearance of evil.