Here’s what I do know, Father… and that’s that Your son come and gave His life for us… true story… also, that I am a sinner- bought back from death–redeemed by the blood of the perfect sacrifice made by Your son… there is no thing I can do to give myself life- death was defeated by Christ- and His righteousness alone… the work of God is faith in His son, and to believe, continually… claiming that restoration, clinging to that hope, claiming His grace, His mercy; but not without begging that work of repentance performed in our hearts by the Holy Spirit…
No matter how good it’s going, no matter how blessed I am; without the knowledge of where the blessings come from… that happiness is not sustained… we are not self-sustaining… peace comes from relationship with the Father… time spent in His presence…acknowledging His work in us… He gets all the glory. Father, You get all the glory!
This afternoon was good… the whole church went out after church… we sat, we talked, fellowshipped, played softball, there was stuff for everyone to do… (kids, adults)… the eating was good, service was good… we were taught about the hearts of the sons (parable_ lost sons… one the prodigal, and one who had a resentment toward his brother… (older brother in that parable)… we also talked about the samaritan and the two commandments… to love God with our heart, soul, body, and mind.. to love our neighbors as ourselves… bout’ to go park it for a few minutes before I head out to an evening devotion.
Better now, but I was hurt’in earlier… Just tired of everything… … Altogether, beat… and ‘on edge’… Really wanted to say to hell with everything- going on where I’m at… but that’s ‘feelings’… Feelings are not not not to be lived by… there’d be countless flipped tables behind me, were that the case… Leaving the house would equate to leaving God’s will deliberately… leaving hasn’t been an option and it’s not an option… it hasn’t been– nor will it be… Were that the case (separation with house) I’d work from that point….. being that it is not the case, I told myself to get the ‘hell’ out the house… when two of my bros decided to make a trip up the road (into the city) I ‘dipped out’ –> ‘dipped out’ hard too, and that did me some good… Telling myself to let go let go let go let go let go, breathe!!! Nothing going on in this house should even have me ‘pulled taut’ in such a manner… but I’m far from perfect….
Lord help me stop- feeding the wrong dog… You see me better than I do… and I’ve made compromises… help me believe in Your work in me… help my unbelief Jesus… cause’ it won’t take much for me react marginally in response to someone’s ignorance. (and that ain’t right… <shaking head>)
I need YOU, Lord… <shaking head while smiling> I need You…
Is what God says ‘good enough’???
Truly it is…but it wasn’t, this morning, in my little brain because though He did what He said He would do… I had a very hard time waiting for some kind of justice to be dispensed, after noting this in my heart I began seeking peace… within… that I could have a merciful heart regarding the individual involved.
The afternoon was a little bit of a *brain cramp*… interpersonal b.s. … I have to, not, personalize the crap, but I don’t want to be callous either… God, thank You for grace… I need it… thank You for Your resolutions… thank You for helping me not to return to the vomit of violence. Your grace is sufficient… and to have come this far to implode due to rash decision-making… I’m sure the enemy would love that… Nah… Quitting is not in my design… nor in the handbook (Bible)… and I don’t care what anyone says, this stuff I’m facing, regarding *anything* in this house… is minuscule in comparison to much of the travesty being experienced *RIGHT NOW*… Who wants to contribute to the chaos??? I shall stand on the Rock of my Salvation. Christ is King!!! Yesterday – Today- and Forever!
Praise the Lord! Thank You for the rain… I think of the movie ‘V for Vendetta’… where the girl ‘Natalie Portman’, steps out on the rough, once she’s ‘surrendered’ and been ‘enlightened’, per say… she says something bout’ God being in the rain… I dunno’ bout’ all that, but by God all things consist.
All day, for the past 2 days, it’s been raining… we’re on break… speaking of break- I gotta ‘break out’ right now! It’s 12:10pm…(back to work)
Had to break out or we’d have ALL been late getting back to work… they’ve got me driving now, so, had to bust-a-move… we made it back in time… I’m clean and fresh out the shower now… tying up whatever needs to be done before service tonight… Second service… God’s on the move… and two of my housemates are rolling with me… so I’m excited to say the least… thank You Lord for the opportunity to praise You corporately, in Spirit and truth.
It’s getting late, now… before I left the house with 2 other amigos. I took a lot of fish out…(thaw from fridge), don’t ask… so I just finished cooking everything… we returned home at 9:10pm… having left the altar at 8:50pm… the guys expressed their gratitude for having gone to church they mutually shared their appreciation for having being welcomed to the altar to pray with the rest of the congregation… one of them expressed that it was the most welcome he’d ever been (felt) to openly worship in a congregation. I’m grateful that we’ve got all the resources we have today to travel like we do and the liberty to visit with different fellowships, to be able to share our walks with one another… it truly is a blessing… thank You Jesus for ordering my steps and filling my heart with Your praises…
Thank You Jesus for opening mind,heart, body, and soul to You Father… I can not hold this house up Father… not without Your Spirit, not without Your guidance… I’m still, very excited for the future and about what You are leading me to and how You are furthering my knowledge and experience of You… increasing my desire to know You…
Another intern– aka “apprentice-to-be” was invited to the house today. After ‘the house’ went to his graduation ceremony we loaded him and his belongings into the van and brought him home with us. Help me to stay low Jesus… learning, ever-learning to remain grateful, to trust You in all my ways. Helping me to never grow ignorant of the call to servitude, making Yourself of no reputation, You are everything that exemplifies devotion to the Father… Faithful, You were obedient unto death.
Father, I don’t believe in accidents or mistakes when it comes to Your wisdom… I do not question Your judgments… help me to embrace this opportunity to lead, Father, and may my actions/deeds point to You.
This is some kinda’ development! Just walked into the house from ‘Celebrate Recovery’ and shopping to find out the U.S. has ‘let off’ 60 plus missiles on a Syrian air base…
There are ‘Russian troops’ on site with the Syrian troops… The news anchor (Fox News) is saying that America does not stand for chemicals being used on people… What is one supposed to think concerning these things? It’s not good at all… and something like this could escalate so quick…
Meanwhile, we’ve been discussing our next fishing excursion… while ‘outta’ sight outta’ mind’ there’s babies waking up to ‘chemical gas’ exposure… Life without Christ… would leave me very unstable concerning all this… and everyone has an opinion but this is my opinion… my opinion is Christ… my truth is Christ… and He is all that anchors me in the discussions of the fate of America…the world. No missile, no threat of enslavement, no global unrest can separate me from the love of God, remove me from the will of God, or destroy my soul. Christ is King forevermore.
In the living room now watching the N.Carolina vs. Oregon game… we missed the major game… with the Gamecocks.. we’re pretty ‘bummed out’ they lost.. ‘the house’ opted to go fishing instead… we literally woke up at 6am and were out on the water by 6:30am… fished until 12pm- took a break and went back out at 5pm… back home at 8:30pm… we are ‘burnt out’… I put the cart before the horse today… my humility was ‘shot’… (like a flat tire)… I put the fish before fellowship, the fish can not come before the fellowship… or the whole experience… ‘No bueno”…
The first half of the day, I went ‘Tasmanian devil’ on my fishing pole… line did not want to cooperate… fingers didn’t wanna act right… after coming home- I got some peace and worked toward getting things in perspective. God is a good God… my sustainer… my life-line… Keep the faith… self… keep the faith.