May 9, 2017

9:01pm

Home from visiting a church to hear a brother’s testimony… ‘pushing’ to write, right now, needing to grab something to eat… don’t wanna sacrifice quality for convenience, but that’s the way the ‘leaf descends’… sometimes… Seems very mundane some days (writing), and that’s when I have opportunity to step back and check my status… motives, and ‘all that’… the motive is to practice discipline and self-control… to hone consistency while being vocal concerning the regeneration of life in me…

After confessing and repenting (turning from sins), believing Christ died for me… my life has become new… fully restored and better than…

Despite any rain that may ‘pitter-pat’ against the glass… Christ died for my sins (the atonement), I’ve accepted Him who has become the advocate for me with the Father (Creator of all things). He’s delivered me from alcohol/substance abuse and grant me liberty, through the life of His Son. In Him I’ve discovered purpose, in Him I’ve discovered truth… my testimony is true… I was as a dead man… today, I live and breathe for the hope of His return… He will not tarry… the kingdom of God is at hand…

Lord, if but one would receive the words of this testimony… and hear ‘the call’ of Your voice… I ask in the name of Your son, Yeshua (Jesus, King of Israel), that You would grant them repentance. If but one would receive You, Father, then this will not have been in vain.

Jesus, You are the true Vine…

the Way, Truth, and the Life…

He, who removes our sins as far as the east is from the west.

Thank You for that true light–

Which lighteth the world.

May 8, 2017

9:31pm

Got through the day, Father, relatively ‘laxed’ day… Did some painting, got a review on my work ethic, leadership/communication skills. That was a blessing… I was really looking for the instructors to tear into me, (ruffle my feathers) but they were very supportive of the progress being made ‘here’… also, they let me know how they want to work with me and want me to not take on every responsibility, or feeling that I need to… they told me that they are resources I should utilize… Also discussed my status concerning some of my relationships with the guys… ‘my footing’… I guess, that’s a good way of putting it… I told them how I walked in on my younger brother this weekend fooling on a vaporizer and how God, in those moments, calmed me… and I chose the road of remaining available to my bro and not ‘losing it’ cause that woulda’ took the focus off my dad’s dinner, this past weekend. I also told my instructors that the ‘M.O.’ is to stand, fortify, stand, be fortified, and Stand… Unless God says, ‘for sure’, ‘through and through’, Do This…. then….. Yours truly stays put… remain vigilant, stand, endure, fortify, repeat…

Thank You Jesus!!! For making me usable and effective concerning the establishing of Your kingdom on earth.

May 6, 2017

11:06pm

We’ve (family) sustained a steady rain for the past three hours… and we are all pretty whooped, now… but I’m not complaining… Dinner for Dad was awesome!!! Mom did one heck of a job getting everything prepared…

My brothers and I helped setup, and the youngest, and I cooked with my Dad’s mom (my Nana)… I cooked more chicken on the grill, today, than I’ve ever cooked at one time. Saw cousins today that I haven’t seen in years, literally… everyone who attended made a reflection or two in order to honor my dad. After opening the dinner with a prayer, and enjoying the powerpoint presentation mom created we fellowshipped with one another, exchanged numbers, ate cake, and food.

Today was one heck of a blessing… the best part was sharing some of what God’s done for me… with everyone in attendance… without restraint… I was a little nervous, but how could I allow the opportunity to slip past me… to be able to share my relationship with my family… Life gets better, Yo!!! Lay down your burdens… God sustains this family and everyone we meet… He is working in us… and I will keep Your word Lord… I will pursue righteousness… You know the hearts and needs of all the families we met today… thank You for keeping us, Father, receiving our praise, and hearing our prayers.

May 4, 2017

6:26pm

You’ve been good to me Father… You’ve been so good, Lord… and You’re faithful Lord Jesus… You take thought of me and I don’t deserve that… not in the slightest… You know better than any,  Father… how I can get in to a mode of striving to Do and Do and Do to be ‘my perception’ of who You are… is this not WORSE than unbelief… May it not be said of me that I seek to ‘create’ You in ‘my image’… open rebuke is better than secret love… and You chasten those whom You Love…

Thank You for Your mercy God… but thank You for Your plans and not my plans… “Tell me when to go!! Jesus!!” I would that I do nothing outside of what is before me without Your ‘perfect’ nudge. Thank You for continuing to draw me to trust those nudges… Without You I can do nothing, Father. You are the Vine… not ‘a’ vine… or option… You are the Vine… and when I work contrary to You Father… that’s a ‘hang-over’ far worse than anything associated with alcohol/drugs… that shame and guilt… Thank You for courage Lord, and Your light… in the dark places… Help me stay low Father… I need You more… in all things… thank You for helping me to surrender every part of my life… thank You for a safe journey home(to parent’s house) this weekend.

May 3, 2017

8:32am

-Volunteer Activity this weekend.

3:53pm

Book: (Brainstorm) Professional Servant/Professional Laborer

-Pleasure is something totally different altogether than what it has perverted itself to being in my mind. God is the origin of true pleasures…and in order to receive that, I must acknowledge there is something seriously wrong with my pleasure gauge…. not that I’ve been a ‘freak on a leash’… God has granted me a degree of victory that trumps my desire to be immoral verbally, sexually, etc. I mean, wisdom and knowledge is pleasing and sweeter than it has ever been… yea, that may sound lame but it’s true, and I’m far from ashamed about that… but God is also revealing to me by Spirit that that’s far from ALL He was talking about, and if I will surrender that part of my mind that ‘trapdoors’ all that ‘icky-decrepit’ crap I’ve locked up over the years… that He will show me how to, and what we can do about those things; and not only will He remove each of those cancers, but He will replace that space with ‘LIFE’… a life-giving pleasure, rooted in praise and worship unlike I have ever known.

10:59pm

Funny thing about sin is…

ya’ think you know what it’s gonna cost…

We don’t.

May 2, 2017

9:28pm

Too–late,

grip loosening

encouragement

seeping through

weight increasing-

hanging over-shoulder-

giving in to negligence-

the time is spent

evidence in actions committed

how vivid the detail

unwavering

the scent that lingers

that welcomes any unsuspecting to trail

one walking

will continue

no never-mind of descent

esteeming the less respected

remembering their ascent.

One falling s’only focus

lies solely on

what lurks beneath..

no regard for where their going

nor the placement of their feet.

      Father, thank You for the breathe of life… thank You for helping me see clearly… thank You for blessing my placement here in the U.S. where we are privileged to be able to ‘shoot’ over to Jimmy Johns and nab one dollar subs… You’re worthy Lord… thank You for ordering our steps and the repairs You’ve performed in the relationships between myself and my dad.

May 1, 2017

7:59ish p.m.

Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus for another one… Another Day… Sitting back with my bros. watching the Hobbit… It’s been a few weeks since we’ve worked on any ‘electrical’ at the shop or abroad, but today we worked on installing lights… a light I have not yet installed… some other kind of LED lights… not quite installed the same as any LED lights I’ve installed previously… it was a blessing just the same. Spoke with bro… *Same momma daddy brother’s name here* … he sounded well… like he was having an excellent day… Dad’s B-day is tomorrow… man… 50 years. old–> he will be tomorrow… I wanna honor him in a grand way Saturday… and there’s a picture of what that looks like, but it’s supremely blurry… our relationship has never been what it is today… I’m incredibly grateful and I strive to exercise that gratitude daily… There’s to be a dinner Saturday night and I’ve set my mind o attend… still working that out, not in haste but not without care, either… it’s important that I attend that dinner… Much of the family will be in attendance… Thank You Lord for peace regarding the transportation details and blessing the family, Lord… letting everyone who is sposed’ to be there, be there… and covering my brother tonight… keeping him safe, and helping him make the right decisions, providing him with wisdom and understanding.