May 3, 2017

8:32am

-Volunteer Activity this weekend.

3:53pm

Book: (Brainstorm) Professional Servant/Professional Laborer

-Pleasure is something totally different altogether than what it has perverted itself to being in my mind. God is the origin of true pleasures…and in order to receive that, I must acknowledge there is something seriously wrong with my pleasure gauge…. not that I’ve been a ‘freak on a leash’… God has granted me a degree of victory that trumps my desire to be immoral verbally, sexually, etc. I mean, wisdom and knowledge is pleasing and sweeter than it has ever been… yea, that may sound lame but it’s true, and I’m far from ashamed about that… but God is also revealing to me by Spirit that that’s far from ALL He was talking about, and if I will surrender that part of my mind that ‘trapdoors’ all that ‘icky-decrepit’ crap I’ve locked up over the years… that He will show me how to, and what we can do about those things; and not only will He remove each of those cancers, but He will replace that space with ‘LIFE’… a life-giving pleasure, rooted in praise and worship unlike I have ever known.

10:59pm

Funny thing about sin is…

ya’ think you know what it’s gonna cost…

We don’t.

May 2, 2017

9:28pm

Too–late,

grip loosening

encouragement

seeping through

weight increasing-

hanging over-shoulder-

giving in to negligence-

the time is spent

evidence in actions committed

how vivid the detail

unwavering

the scent that lingers

that welcomes any unsuspecting to trail

one walking

will continue

no never-mind of descent

esteeming the less respected

remembering their ascent.

One falling s’only focus

lies solely on

what lurks beneath..

no regard for where their going

nor the placement of their feet.

      Father, thank You for the breathe of life… thank You for helping me see clearly… thank You for blessing my placement here in the U.S. where we are privileged to be able to ‘shoot’ over to Jimmy Johns and nab one dollar subs… You’re worthy Lord… thank You for ordering our steps and the repairs You’ve performed in the relationships between myself and my dad.

May 1, 2017

7:59ish p.m.

Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus for another one… Another Day… Sitting back with my bros. watching the Hobbit… It’s been a few weeks since we’ve worked on any ‘electrical’ at the shop or abroad, but today we worked on installing lights… a light I have not yet installed… some other kind of LED lights… not quite installed the same as any LED lights I’ve installed previously… it was a blessing just the same. Spoke with bro… *Same momma daddy brother’s name here* … he sounded well… like he was having an excellent day… Dad’s B-day is tomorrow… man… 50 years. old–> he will be tomorrow… I wanna honor him in a grand way Saturday… and there’s a picture of what that looks like, but it’s supremely blurry… our relationship has never been what it is today… I’m incredibly grateful and I strive to exercise that gratitude daily… There’s to be a dinner Saturday night and I’ve set my mind o attend… still working that out, not in haste but not without care, either… it’s important that I attend that dinner… Much of the family will be in attendance… Thank You Lord for peace regarding the transportation details and blessing the family, Lord… letting everyone who is sposed’ to be there, be there… and covering my brother tonight… keeping him safe, and helping him make the right decisions, providing him with wisdom and understanding.

April 30, 2017

2:53pm

What’s done is done! Cleaned up the mess we’ve accumulated over the past few months in our ‘cleaning’ closet… it was a wreck.. it looks great now… dunno’ bout’ anyone else, but it was a huge relief for me…

Upon leaving the altar this morning, *Ms. name here* (the college/young adults Sunday school teacher) come to me, and said, “I really wanted to tell you… you know, you can pray for other people.” She was not sure if I ‘knew’ that, but she wanted me to feel encouraged to do so. I completely forgot to say anything to *mentor name here*, concerning this, when I got in the car… I wish I had… I’ll have to call him some time, in a lil’bit… or not… I dunno, my usual Sunday routine has been altered to some degree… tonight’s service at the O.C. was cancelled, but my housemates invited me to come to their church… I’ve got an hour to make a decision… may stay home to do a personal study. Got pop’s birthday coming up on Tuesday and my brother’s b-day is tomorrow… haven’t gotten them anything yet, but next Saturday is my dad’s dinner and I’ve gotta’ make some arrangements to get to Columbia… thinking that I’m gonna’ work those details out tomorrow.

11:34pm

I should definitely be sleeping… the guys and I just finished a movie… in my semi-lucid state I come back to my room, my work alarm is being set, and I’m recalling the countless numbers of people we run into on the way to wal-mart around 8pm… there was literally a woman trying to stop our van as we pulled out of our house… I could tell she had just finished smoking ‘dope’…w e get up to the corner store and there’s ‘live’ action… I’m talk’in ‘traffic’… and I don’t mean Hondas and Toyotas… I’m talking bout’ dopeboys and drug-users… ridiculous… on the way to wal-mart. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt I seen three women prostituting… and all I could do was shake my head and pray… “I need Jesus”, “they need Jesus”, “We all need Jesus…”

Thank You Father for Your perfect plan, and delivering Your children from the darkness of this world.

April 29, 2017

12:22pm

Sat down to begin today’s entry and I have just remembered my plans to clean garage. Upon reading Proverbs… I’ll be going to handle that mess… it’s no burden… I’m actually looking forward to the task… it’s proactive, I get to use my hands, listen to the radio, and ‘space-out’ in a good way… thank You Lord for direction.

9:53pm

Got the garage knocked ‘all the way’ out… it’s very clean. HA!!! Felt really good about it… that process ran for about 2 hours or so… After rolling around a while with my brother who also ‘skates’ (45 min. tops) my ‘blood-brother’ text me and let’s me know he is in downtown Greenville… so, I hit him up and asked him if he could see a parking garage outside of the establishment he and his friends were at… and ‘dig this’ my bro was literally two blocks away… My housemate and I wen the two to the restaurant, which came complete with two bars (alcohol), which was not an issue for either of us… went to the back of the establishment where my brother and three of his friends come and sat down with us. We chatted for a moment and I felt impressed to pray with them and so I did… it was a major blessing to have been able to meet with them… after coming home, we mostly (all of us) ‘kicked it’ in a group… minus one individual… I’m trusting God in that work being performed in the young man’s heart.

Going to bed soon… church in the a.m. Thank You Father for divine appointments, for New life and a new thing.

April 28, 2017

6:13pm

See her Father?

You do;

I know.

Desire is present,

calling me as an old friend,

renewed

restored.

May I go?

I cannot go.

Can I say?

If but one word?

Look forward my son,

I am with you–

Your voice is heard

when you do pray.

Just a while

after now

the preparations are being made

sure

Where I AM

there she will be

Abide in me

without detour

Tarry a while

My son

and every good gift

I will bring.

April 27, 2017

11:54am

Is what God says ‘good enough’???

Truly it is…but it wasn’t, this morning, in my little brain because though He did what He said He would do… I  had a very hard time waiting for some kind of justice to be dispensed, after noting this in my heart I began seeking peace… within… that I could have a merciful heart regarding the individual involved.

10:01pm

The afternoon was a little bit of a *brain cramp*… interpersonal b.s. … I have to, not, personalize the crap, but I don’t want to be callous either… God, thank You for grace… I need it… thank You for Your resolutions… thank You for helping me not to return to the vomit of violence. Your grace is sufficient… and to have come this far to implode due to rash decision-making… I’m sure the enemy would love that… Nah… Quitting is not in my design… nor in the handbook (Bible)… and I don’t care what anyone says, this stuff I’m facing, regarding *anything* in this house… is minuscule in comparison to much of the travesty being experienced *RIGHT NOW*… Who wants to contribute to the chaos??? I shall stand on the Rock of my Salvation. Christ is King!!! Yesterday – Today- and Forever!