It’s a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, I’m fresh out of church. I was notably tired this morning, and like last Sunday… had to ‘yank my butt out of bed by my hair.’ which is ‘straight’… and I have to go; I tell myself that Christ is faithful and that I MUST! Once I’m there, I’m good… and glad I’ve attended… so after ‘hitting’ the kitchen- upon arrival at church and brewing the coffee for the coffee station, a woman and her mom. (I think it’s her mom) stopped by the kitchen to drop off a bag of specialty coffee.. the woman who was with the older woman…catches my eye, like, every time I come to church… (there is always ‘a girl’… at every church, or every meeting… at every place… which reinforces how much more I have to rely on God’s ‘choosing’… God’s perfection… cause’ I’d go ‘plumb’ crazy trying to sort that out… I’ve been there and I’m super grateful God’s given me liberty there…) and truth is, though I redirect my attention to Christ I can still manage to be clumsy and feel a little awkward around some women.
(one of my old roommates… come thru and dropped off a skateboard.)
After making coffee and going to Sunday School… we had our main service where we had communion… I managed to put my offering/tithes in the wrong bag… and my hands and fingers still have a chicken liver bait smell… (I thoroughly washed my hands last night…but…) after service, on the way home, I was discussing the issue of dropping my tithes into the offering bag for a pastor and my mentor believes I should envelope the money and put my name on it and check tithes… whereas, I’ve been depositing cash into the tithe bag… without a name… I’m probably going to get a 3rd, 4th, and 5th opinion… on top of scripture, but it was something to discuss…
At home now, sitting on back deck… pretty hungry so I’ma take a gander into the refrigerator, eat, go lay down, rest, and read. Thank you Jesus for the fulfillment of the scriptures.
I’m not good with death… just received new of two individuals… one, an older woman I knew as a child… and a younger woman who I knew when she was a little girl… the older woman died, I believe, of natural causes… she was a friend of my dad’s… the younger woman– she was very young (9-13) when I first met her… I lived at her grandmother’s house while she was 14-16… she was only a girl… mom text me today and told me she died in this last month (March)… I call her(mom)… and mom can’t talk right now… The younger woman… her name is ___________. she was told she had cancer, then she was told she was cancer free, doctor told her she should do ‘chemo’ and my brother (just got off the phone with him.) told me that’s what killed her. Not going to allow myself to go into pity-mode (self)… and left to my own devices… and in times passed I’d simply use the whole incident as an excuse too drink/drug and wreak havoc… not today… (praise God), God is still worthy of praise, and none of this makes sense… with human eyes… but as I’ve said time and time again… this wasn’t all for nought… ti’s not all for nought… and none of this is simply for understanding…
I write TODAY because that’s what I do… rather than be impulsive… We pray TODAY because that’s what WE do… as believers. Thank You Father for peace in this situation.
I am not an object/circumstance that need be dealt with…
I am a living soul in need of healthy, intentional interactions with other living souls.