Father, grant me understanding that I would not use your name in vain… help me to go where I am called; not relying on self, Father. Even now, I’m jumping off the page- in and out of focus with the t.v. <grabs remote and mutes> The more I seek you, Father, the more I understand that I don’t understand… the only answer I have, sometimes (most times) is knowing I don’t have the answer… You have a plan Lord–> You Are the plan–>> Jesus is the plan… why… do I?…scratch that… Days like today… I feel like maybe I missed something… today, was fantastic and I thank you.. think maybe I’m just tired… this morning we did the landscaping job (we) had planned, came home, changed clothes, went to a park–>>learned how to play tennis, came home, cooked a bunch of fish (not fried this time; baked) ‘Bro’s name here’ came over, we speculated over a dream of his (he, myself, and another person), after ‘bro’ left I downloaded a few songs and learned of a few new new artist and listened to a few testimonies… a common fear, I used to have was that outside influences would sway sway sway the authenticity of my own voice, (creative flow), but I’m thinking there is a pertinent need for this remission of expression… (I’ve had to ‘fall-back’ on the exertion I’ve put toward any kind of musically inclined expressions, (authoritative directive)) but my identity has to be firmly pressed into Christ–>> not I but Christ who lives within me… I don’t want o quit my job as a ‘working man’ to do music full time… I want to work work work and let ‘that’ worship be any edifying that rises up out of the depths of Christ in me–>> let that be freely put out–>>put out–>> feeding those who are hungry… bringing vitality to the desolate places. Last I checked–>> the Word said buy the truth and sell it not.
God, You are good–>> thank You for a heart of repentance and gratitude–>> and for what You want for me. I can’t serve, without Your blessing/anointing, Father, let alone lead.