February 21, 2017

9:04PM

     Self-discipline, perseverance, obedience, patience, humility… focus! “Get-low!” that’s what we yell to the guys that are looking for a ‘shot’ (takedown) on the wrestling mats… getting low is how I set my mentality when it comes to ‘my own needs/wants’… (it’s a different kind of getting low…) God knows my needs and He will see that they are met…. but He is not going to provide those needs in a manner that hinders growth–> or encourages a behavior that is unhealthy for me. It’s important I know that, considering the latest developments in the house… I’ve certainly slid right into that cozy familiar- “control-freak” costume and I’ve been a lil-nutty the past few days, that has caused a lil’ more discord than necessary… I’m not gonna attempt to justify my actions outside of our learning each other… and now to talk to one another (roommate)… I’m just not a ‘sit on your hands for a few months’, kind of individual, when it comes to relationships… (I have been in the past and that doesn’t help)… I’d love to find some ki9nd of ‘happy-median’ for those occasions where adjustments either need to be made or a heightened degree of patience is required… whatever is needed— that’s what’s being worked on–> I’m used to just ‘blowing’ everything up and starting over- on a grand-scale, and in the lesser things… and it’s far from a cure-all… God blessed me with great sense, but I’m more than sure He is not asking me to lean on those senses in ‘this’… it’s trusting him that is going to provide the clarity needed for me to keep my composure in these ‘minor’ altercations and disagreements. Grace and mercy Lord… thank you for grace and mercy.

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