February 6, 2017

9:20PM

     She has never been what I’ve seen……. talking bout’ this girl I used to know back in High School… spent every frigg’in moment with her before school and had absolutely NO clue who or what… sure did know what/who I wanted to make her out to be….. CRAY-ZEE! ***Looking back at it… thinking bout’ it now… even in the midst of those peak windows of joy in any relationship I’ve been in I’ve always found myself, at sometime, pondering the whereabouts of ‘countless’ people… usually end up praying for them, when they cross my mind now… I’m cooking spaghetti… done now, actually, and writing between bites. My mind happened upon this ‘woman’s name here’, and I’m like, *dude you never knew this person… and there were sooo many others… literally, I lived in a state of denial, concerning most of everyone–>> putting them all where I wanted them to exist in my mind or in my heart… including how i viewed myself… I’ve been reading ‘Crash the Chatterbox’ and one of the most important things the book has discussed thus far is the importance to know what God says about us and how He feels about us… so we can combat every bit of conversation from the wickedness of our hearts and the enemy– those falsities (?) that I’ve used to label/manipulate my perception of myself and others.

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