January 30, 2017

9:46PM

     Father God, thank you for the day… and for life… Just finished watching ‘Mr. Church’… Eddie Murphy was a lead actor in the movie, but the movie wasn’t a comedy… it was a drama… and it was a wonderful movie… enough said…*Great movie*… lying in bed now… haven’t done this in a while… (seems that way anyways)… major struggle today was in decision=making… sometimes just can not leave well enough alone… rolled out of bed this morning and first thing on my mind was *her name here*… of course, there was a dream and against all sound judgement i called her old phone… completely putting off the fact it was mom’s birthday… (who should have been first text out after praying.) My prayer was pretty generic/mediocre, I felt… and I could have blamed the enmy, but immediately after prayer I was calling *her nam*… NO ANSWER… long story short… work all day, no response… but my curiosity is on edge cause’ I’m like ‘dang!’ –hope she’s alright… cause that ain’t like her… or, is it??? (basically making excuses at this point.. *shaking my head*) Call her… get an answer… it’s a guy… obviously he’s upset… she get’s on phone… says, dudes not okay with me calling (with some extra stankness) which is cool, but still weird, but I’m like ‘cool’… so … maybe their getting married… in that case, all is well- girl is good… and ships dead in water… but even worse… she text back and invites me to call back… I call back (fooorrrr why??? Why call back?) and it’s a whole nother’ attitude, I care how she is and for the nth time proved that picking up the phone did/does not help… I’m interfering with what is going on in her life between her and God… I can say that I care about her all day, but no matter how the situation is looked at… she’s not what I need and vice-versa and WE need Jesus… I’m going to sleep now after praying… really… I have to repent because seeking ‘that’ is deliberately going ‘against the grain’ of where Christ is taking me.

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Author: clhemingwayii

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth! Isaiah 52:7(KJV)

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