1:14AM In the Morning
Can not sleep at all… been laying in bed for 2 hours… so much crap come at me, mentally/spiritually… all the way up to just ‘dipping-out’ and forgetting my obligations here… took me an hour, but I felt led to go there…’prayer closet’… was still anxious, and when I come out, my roommate went down stairs, my MP3 player was dead so I couldn’t listen to it… turned on light, roommate gone, found cord, bout’ to read… had grabbed phone to call a girl but withdrew hand the moment hand touched phone… that’s not the answer.. this too shall pass, I know, bout’ to do whatever I must… read, or whatever…knowing that this ‘trying’ will bring patience, and endurance… wisdom and understanding. This is not my fight Lord… I commit my will to you Father… I need you… and I know you didn’t bring me where I am to give-up on your promise. You are faithful Lord, thank you for renewal… forgive my thoughts Lord… thank you for healthy meditations.
May spend a little more time to elaborate on how ‘spectacular’ today actually was, but for now, it’s imperative I get some rest… up late enough as it is. Reading in Psalms… about Ephraim (descendants) and their ungratefulness… for God’s blessing them. Thank you Father for humility, steadfastness, resilience… and for acknowledging the desires of my heart, and knowing me in a way no one else can… thank you for supporting me and helping me to understand the desires of your heart for me… and making that my focus… thank you for clarity.