Good Morning! Woke up at 6:30am… didn’t figure in the time I would be at church last night… our morning devotion will start in 5 minutes… I’m at the table, conference table/prayer room and our morning devotion’s facilitator has just arrived. He’s telling us that the qualification to be a gentleman is to be a landowner. He’s also going through some prayer requests of people ( and families who are going through some troublesome times) we are all going through some troublesome times, but we have to count our blessings… I do… to be vigilant, not squandering what’s been freely given me… in my salvation.
Harsh realization; truth, etc. just spent the last 5 to 10 min. visually seeing myself getting high with people I used to know and the women that used to prostitute round’ me in my drug use, and that entire atmosphere… and the ‘thing’ is certain… I can not combat that, no more than a person can swear on their life that they will keep their shoes tied… The fact that I’ve been delivered from where I was to where I am sitting right now… *shakes head back and forth…* *takes DEEP breathe*…. YESSS! it was freely given… but nothing accrues without investment… that investment is the sacrifice of a broken heart… that submission… that knowing-ness, that God has ordained this, and without His blessing/Word, none of this would be… from the grand-scale of the Universe, down to my life and the events that have taken place in it to draw me to Him… to understand how terribly foolish it is to believe that our only purpose is toward ourselves, or that our existence is by chance, or to believe I can sustain myself outside of His will.
In theory, and some would argue truth, today could very well be the last day to ‘right my wrongs’, or write my wrongs… as Paul has stated, I have not yet attained… as I reflect, lying from the head of my bed to the foot, a moment from putting ‘pj’s’ on… listening to ‘Imagine Me’ — by Kirk Franklin, I’m questioning to a degree what/how to bring the day to a close. The day ran it’s course, it was another blessing… another day I was given to choose God and seek His mold for my life… I was given ample opportunity to share the gospel… I shunned the opportunity… God is leading me… and He is definitely drawing me out of my comfort zone… but where He is taking me… Ha!.. where I’m getting cold feet… s’where all prayers are answered… Maybe I will wake up tomorrow, and it will be another beautiful opportunity waiting… maybe I won’t, and in that case… Hopefully someone, and I trust that someone will.. find hope in that they are not alone… there is a God… He loves us… He sent His son… to die for us that all men and women would be saved, and drawn to Him… Our Father… to God be the glory.