November 19, 2016

8 Something PM

     Don’t know what’s going on in the spiritual realm when I choose to deliberately defile myself, but if I did, I don’t think I’d do it… Don’t think I would consider sin or view life the way I do now… the choice to do wrong needs to be made obsolete. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on ‘not’ sinning, rather than just living… letting myself get choked up and that pressure building all day long… it’s past ridiculous, and I don’t have an excuse… it’s not like anyone is standing over me to punish me, I do that enough on my own… God hasn’t just said,  ‘I’m taking away all that sustained you yesterday…’ God is the same yesterday, today, and forever… I’ve allowed myself to become my god… that’s living toward destruction… somewhere I don’t want to be… something that needs to be addressed… I’ve regular thoughts concerning ‘getting high’ and a lot of sex… so… talking with individuals who I can talk with about this stuff… I spoke with someone today… but this is life… God-willing I will wake up tomorrow and do a better job.

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