Feeling seriously lazy… rather than saying, “YO! THE NATION IS SPOILED!!!” I have to recognize that I am spoiled… man… but I’m not gonna be too hard on myself… progress is being made… mostly because the opportunities being afforded me. It’s important as it ever has been… simply, that I wake up and stand for the Lord… He helps me see the opportunities… God has continually been meeting me everyday… in a way that has fueled me to get through each day… as easily as I commit myself to things I did have a tendency to over commit myself- over committing, I know by experience, gets me drunk/high… my mentor/friend/ Bob– brought me an MP3 player… it’s been a major blessing… I aim to listen to strictly to worship music, and Christian radio… Leave is coming soon… don’t seem like there is anyway we gonna slow it down either… MENTAL NOTE: I’m not gonna be able to ‘go out’… with these guys very much. Christ has plans for me and He has given me all I need to accomplish these things, but they are not gonna be accomplished without the laborer.
So evil is doing what it can to irk my nerves. Thank you Lord for helping me put this thing in perspective. Approximately 7 days before I depart/ move-on and there is a guy I went through the whole program with and everything we’ve gone through… seems like it’s nothing to him… he don’t care bout’ any of this… it’s like he just won’t get it… but that’s not my focus… my focus is that it gets under my skin… that he deliberately has ill-intent for me… that ain’t cutting it for me… and I know it wouldn’t have been something I could have continually looked past without the heart change God has performed in me. I’m going to sleep… Just airing out the pen cause I was stressing hard… pray and pray… God — thank you for delivering me through the remainder of this program. I am not trying to base our relationship on completion of this program. I would like to finish though– thank you for your grace Lord.