October 17, 2016

9:30ish PM

     Growing dilemma… ‘messy locker’, driving me nuts! Told myself I’d clean it tonight, but it’s way too late now. My roommate is sleeping… my night light is on… he saved me some pork rinds (the really hard kind– that are really good.) (We aren’t supposed to have food in the room.) They are way too crunchy to eat right now, though. Now that I have committed to taking my 48 hour pass, this weekend, I have decided that I need to prepare my testimony in one way or another; so I can present it to the church… part of me is nervous about travelling to the church because of my using drugs/alcohol in that area, so I’ll have accountability with me. Inside me, plain as day I can see/feel that desire to get high and indulge in fulfilling sexual desires… I”m not surprised, and those desires won’t leave or go. Part of me wants the desire close. I’m hurting… that’s a lie, I’m not hurting… my body gets to ‘longing’… my desire for You has to be greater… I’m working my salvation out daily, and all of what I am going through… I believe is perfectly normal.

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Author: clhemingwayii

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth! Isaiah 52:7(KJV)

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