October 16, 2016

9:43ish PM

     Got work still yet to do, grateful, I did put a lil’work in on some assignments today… An overwhelming (exaggeration) feeling of tiredness swept over me. Decided to take a nap… woke up after nap to the sound of intercom going off telling us to wake up…. I got a lil’ aggravated after waking my roommate up, he yelled–kind of– not at me, but at me… pissed me off, but I don’t want to be mad at my roommate… I calmed down- let some time pass, waited a few hours and told him how his outburst made me feel, he apologized, and now we are discussing our roommates who have left and other people who have left the program. It’s not time for everyone to surrender, everyone  doesn’t want to stop using drugs or drinking or lying or running away from life. Drugs/alcohol were my ways of pretending I was okay, that life was okay… life wasn’t okay, but I didn’t discuss that with anyone… I just accumulated regrets/shame/guilt and kept on running… I’m finally coming into a place where I don’t feel like I have to run… I’m not running… sometimes I want to… but I don’t have to anymore… God helps me to face the world on life’s terms… without doubt or fear.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s