August 23, 2016

10pm-ish

     Be sober… be vigilant… thoughts that surface as I reflect on the day… and weigh my life, my decisions, my salvation, my relationships, my dwelling place, my heart, my past, my future… presently… liberty has been afforded me… The freedom to serve whom I will… Christ’s call to deliverance, or the flesh… my sinful nature… turning back.. or ignoring the call of Christ, is immensely exhausting… being a believer… being a believer in, NOT, a state/condition/lifestyle that is easily taken up or easily revoked by oneself. It is one miserable existence to have once communed with the living God and then to turn your back in denial of His call/claim to your life. today I experienced a type of freedom afforded through confession of some of my hidden shortcomings, resentments, actions of the past…this was incredibly difficult for me to do… to reveal a few of those details pertaining to my past… I still have more to discuss with my counselor, but what we did discuss I received priceless feedback on. It wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done… I almost “copped out” being that I was feeling horrible when I woke up… throat, nose, etc. but by the help of the Spirit– we pressed on through the day… today was also the first day I was able to go to “Celebrate Recovery” along with some other guys that’ve moved up before me. I thank God for all that He is performing in my life… I don’t always understand His ways, but I’m learning to trust them.

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