Visited a new church today… no complaints there… it was good, getting out of the ‘norm’… experiencing something new, surroundings, people, etc. Got to speak with mom and all together, things could not have gone better… and not so surprisingly comes that subtle turning and twisting and tugging and longing… to know for sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have to ride with someone for accountability tomorrow and my flesh wants to do nothing more than get high as a kite…. go get drunk and go have unhindered, unadulterated sex… all over Greenville… until I can no longer… due to incapacitation, jail, or death… if any one were to tell me today that this was all ‘a mind-thing’ I would probably feel slightly disrespected in them just having told me a lie. This is not a mind thing… it’s a design thing. I have been designed to function at a certain level/degree with Christ… with God… but I’ve been cursed as all of mankind has… now, the decision each day has to be made in our hearts that we will serve the Lord, in spite of the enemy… in spite of our fallibility, incapabilities, and sinful nature… as soon as I stop pursuing the Lord, I will be within the reach of idleness (spiritual complacency). The Lord isn’t going to take me where He can not keep me… He can and will deliver me from my hands if I will look to Him… humbling myself in His sight and clinging to His robe.