August 15, 2016

7:30pm

     Results: Yesterday I concluded that I would be taking a fast today… I’m thinking, now, that I didn’t have inappropriate motives for fasting but may have been seeking to please god. In fact, I know I was trying to please God; after discussing with someone else the terms of the “fast” we spoke about how irritable I would become in this type of environment, and not having the necessary time “alone’ to devote to the Lord. I originally imagined that fasting would be done today regardless of the presence of others. The day started off well… with waking up.. not going to breakfast and remaining in my room to read and pray. In class we discussed (friend and self) how I would be working in the kitchen in the afternoon and that it would be tempting to eat and that rather than putting myself under the risk of “pulling a spiritual muscle,” maybe I should only eat salad… for lunch and dinner… there was no salad for lunch so I ate the potato salad that was served. (No soda-no salt)(only veggies, and salad, soup.) Finished out the night with salad/soup and macaroni. I chose to eat rather than not eat because I could feel the capacity in me to do things that would trigger lasting effects (detrimental) on my future and myself… so I ate… kicking the meat… I aim to abstain from meat the next few days. (2 days) I didn’t know how much the meat held my desire… but I do now.

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