9:47 – 9:57pm
There is much that could be discussed concerning today… literally hundreds of topics… I will speak on…
Concerning mercy….. it has long, (1 month or more) been a regular occurrence that I may ponder some random event where I may “use’ or engage in some lewd sexual acts and have to determine what strategy, skill, practice I am going to employ in order to disengage the “train of thought”…. I am either watching or riding. It occurred to me today via mental imagery entwined with the Spirit of truth that mercy has been forwarded us by God the Father, and that this mercy is more than abundant and does not perish- it is not a “something that runs out.” It is pure and incorruptible…this was, in my mind, related to the things/substances which I used to seek out in abundance, that I would have a level of security–whether it was money for knowing I had a secure means of maintaining a certain level/continuation of highs or a quantity of drugs that I knew could help me maintain being high. The high never endures and is corrupt, if not merely leads to corruption… it leaves you wanting and feeling “more than low”. Mercy from God is priceless and requires nothing from me but that I accept it. The mercy was not free and is afforded to me by Christ– who died once, that I may live. I have not yet experienced a life where I’ve acknowledged Christ’s mercy and held myself to a devout obedience which is my due service. (My reasonable service)… the least I can do after accepting Christ mercy is to be obedient to His call on my life. To not accept God’s mercy is to deny Christ’ sacrifice for all mankind, and to not be obedient is to turn away from the life and blessings God has put away for me. God, continue to work in my life that I may acknowledge your grace and mercy, and take it not for granted.