It’s awesome how god recognizes when we need backup/ assistance putting our heads back on. I’ve been struggling a little bit the past few nights with staying here… I haven’t been leaving, just fantasizing with bullcrap. The Lord sustains me and sometimes the thoughts aggravate me, but more often than I feel they should– it aggravates me that I desire to do the things I should not… it makes me miserable, it makes me sad, and I know I’m grieving the Spirit… and that’s all the way “wrong”. One of the verses that crosses my mind is Luke 9:62. I can’t be looking back and trying to serve God… I do believe God is allowing me to be tempted of my flesh. (This just come to me.) He IS NOT tempting me, but the Holy Spirit dwells with me and He, I believe, allows my heart to do as much as He w2ill allow. I have no control of my heart though my heart sometimes seeks to prove to me that “I CAN”; truth of the matter is I can’t; not without the acknowledgement of all this; I feel like this perception is true, though, I will seek the perspective of others.
Got a letter my mom mailed me, one of my bros. went to camp and one of them went to the beach, I felt worried and I don’t need to and I don’t want to. I want my brothers to be amazingly awesome and okay. I miss them very much.